How strange things have turned out to be with N.  They really aren't making any sense at all. So, here goes....

I googled him yesterday. (Hence, the question on my blog.)  What I discovered was ....

• Everything he told me about his work and accomplishments are true. But....
• He is anywhere from 13-18 years older than he told me.
• His ex-wife's address is listed as the same as his, so they are possibly still married.
• His children are also older than he told me.

If he did lie to me about his age, I understand why. I don't like that he lied, but I'm sure he assumed that I wouldn't have paid attention if he had given me his 'real' age. And I probably would not have. The more I thought about it, though, I'm fine with his being much older. He is much more interesting than any other man I've dated and I appreciate his laid-back approach to life. I need that with as busy as my life is right now.

When we talked this morning, he explained to me about the discrepancies with what he told me and what I found online. It still doesn't make sense, though, because what I found about his ex-wife says she is the same age as the age his 'online' age. Make sense?  Ok....

So, I'm not sure what to do. I haven't told him I googled him. I just asked him if he really was the age he told me and he began to explain.

Should I tell him I googled him? (I don't want him to think I'm psycho.) Should I confront him on my suspicions? (And risk him thinking I'm a stalker?) Or should I just ride it out and see what I find out just by getting to know him?  (Which seems to be on HIS terms, not mine... another concern I've had.)

I really like this guy. He is the type of man I've always dreamed of. At the same time, I have this horrid feeling that I am about to be horribly surprised.

I'm not really sure what to think right now. Granted, I'm on some very strong cold meds which are making me slightly incoherent. But anyway...here's the story.....

I wrote yesterday about N and our fabulous beyond fabulous date. I met N on a dating site, which would suffice it to say he's met many other women on said site as I have met many other men as well. I rarely went on the site before I met him - only when I received mail. But I decided yesterday to see if he had been on.

And he had.  In the past 24 hours.  Which means that sometime in the day following our fabulous date, he was on the site.

And again this morning - Active in the past 24 hours.

But was he searching? Or was he simply looking at my profile again?

Since he has chosen to keep himself anonymous on said site, I can't be sure. But I don't want to ask him and seem insecure. And that is why I am blogging - albeit anonymously - about it. Maybe it was just to see who had looked at his profile? No...he has made himself unsearchable. No one can look him up...he must find them.

He has told me how many women he has met online.

He has told me I am the only one he is dating now.

Since we just met, I don't know him well enough to know if he is a smooth-talking ladies' man (which the pessimistic side of me wants to believe) or if he is looking at my profile again to remind himself of me between times we talk (which the more positive, romantic side of me wants to believe).

I refuse to let myself obsess about this, as I tend to do. I need to relax and just enjoy things as they come, as N pointed out to me more than once on our fabulous date.

But in the meantime...

Oh, never mind. I'm relaxing. I'm taking things as they come. He did say he wants to see me again. We did IM for quite a while last night (although he was still online long after he had told me good night, which again makes me curious about the previously mentioned questions).

But ...

We have made no commitments to each other.  He is free to date as am I.

So what am I 'worried' about?  Is it nothing?